I Dreamt of Her

Here’s a bit of a back story:

My Grandmama, my dad’s mother, was one of my best friends growing up. She would watch my brother and I while our parents were at work. I have so many wonderful memories with her, I could write a novel on them.  On top of that, I look exactly like her; so much that you can’t differentiate our elementary school pictures.

But, in late June of 2003, she passed away. To this day, I can see how much my family miss her when they look at me. Her parents, my great grandparents, I can feel their hurt and love when they look at me. I can feel the grief in my core when I look in their eyes.


A few nights ago, I had a dream that I was getting married to my current boyfriend. I was walking up the church steps and all of my female family members were on both sides of the stairs. As I walked up, all of them were patting my back, giving me side hugs, but I never touched their hands with my own. On the top left step, there she was; my Grandmama. I think she’s only visited me once before and I can hardly remember, but this was so vivid that I think it will be remembered. As I walked to her, she reached her hand out and I grabbed it as I kept walking. Our grip tightened until we finally let go because I had walked too far away; but I walked about three more steps afterwards.  I turned around and looked at her, and she was so beautiful. She was young and she was radiating to the point I couldn’t see anybody passed her. I walked to her and embraced her in the only way you embrace somebody when you haven’t seen them in fourteen years. Even if it was a dream, hugging my Grandmama was the most comforting event that could have happened. I cried. I cried so hard in her shoulder that I felt my abdomen shake and I held her so tight. Next thing I knew, my alarm went off and it was time for work.

It was a dream, but it was the most real feeling dream I have ever experienced.